The Art of letting it go: Finding my purpose.

By herloudsilence@gmail.comPersonal Development, Process, Quick Thoughts...

The Art of letting it go: Finding my purpose.

Lately, I’ve been wondering a lot about my purpose in life. I don’t know if I ever knew it. I’ve had thoughts of what I thought I wanted to do – that I didn’t end up doing—things like Radio Broadcasting, and Journaling. When people ask me if I know my purpose I always say I don’t know but I should be using my voice. I love public speaking, hosting shows, performing poetry, spoken word, and music in high school and college. Things like that make me feel alive, heard, seen, and understood. But yet I still haven’t figured it out. Lately, I’ve even been thinking about Law School, and/or becoming a therapist since people love to come to me with their problems which I love giving advice for or solving. But I don’t know if any of those are my callings, perhaps in my younger years had I fostered that natural ability to debate and solve problems it could have been a thing. But starting Law school in my thirties… I don’t know.

Without a purpose, I can’t lie sometimes I feel lost. I have a full-time job working for the city, a part-time job merchandising books and magazines, and a side hustle (which used to be my full-time hustle) freelancing in the web and graphic design field. Yet none of these are fulfilling. The passion I once had for my side hustle is now starting to feel like work. I’ve been watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, and reading articles on this topic and I’ve discovered a few things. I need to revisit my why, values, dreams, and aspirations. I also need to let go of this concept that I need to “find myself”. Because to find yourself is to lose yourself since as humans we are ever-evolving.

Whatever I decide to do should bring me joy, and be of service to others. I want to feel like I’m making a difference, and I also want to make a lot of money doing it. Money is not everything but it means a lot to me. I have big dreams of how I want to live, my lifestyle, and how I want to support my family and take away their worries and stresses. I also want to see the world.

It’s time for reflection and journaling to hone in on some things about myself. Not to find me but to get to know me again, and let go of this idea that I need to “find” my purpose since it’s counterproductive, because this implies that I don’t have it or I’ve lost it, and I don’t want to send that msg to the universe.