Dating Dilemma: My Perfect Match Always Seems Out of Reach

By herloudsilence@gmail.comRelationships

Dating Dilemma: My Perfect Match Always Seems Out of Reach

Okay, this is a full-blown rant, but I need to let this out.

Why is it that the people I’m drawn to never seem to feel the same way about me? What’s the equation here? And then the ones who are into me—are they asking themselves the same question about me?

Am I delusional? Is what I’m looking for out of my league? How do I change what I’m attracted to? How do I become attracted to those who are into me? What is the fucking problem?

I might not be a 10, but I’m definitely not a 1! Is it my body? Sure, I’m overweight and my weight fluctuates, but I think I have a pretty cute face, especially when I’m happy. What the fuck do people really want?

Intellect is not enough. Being kind not enough. Genuine not enough. Understanding NOPE not enough. Goal oriented abosolutely not enough. Good with money, natural-looking, great listener still not enough!

You mean to tell me that all of the above doesn’t mean shit without the good body? 

If people are always telling me I’m not the problem, and they’re surprised that I’m still single, are they just trying to make me feel better about myself? Am I delusional to be thinking this highly of myself? Or am I just searching in the wrong places? Who will appreciate and enjoy what I bring to the table while I still have the desire to give?

Online dating feels like a goddamn flea market. And in real life, people don’t even make eye contact anymore—everyone’s lost in their own world.

I keep attracting what I don’t want. After all these years of trying, I still can’t figure it out. There’s something seriously wrong when what’s considered a good woman is overlooked by every single fucking man in the online dating scene who are claiming they want a good woman. ITS A LIE.

As I was writing this rant, my mother found a picture I drew back in elementary school (funny how the universe works—always on time). I’m pretty sure it was my attempt at drawing what I thought I looked like back then. Now I’m convinced—this must be how people see me when they look at my profile! It has to be. Sideburns hanging low to my cheeks, MASSIVE lips wider than my eyes, and shoulders that look like they’re ready to TAKE THEM DOWN. No wonder they’re scared. Why else would they overlook a good woman—real, no filter, melanin poppin’, locs flowing?